04.11.07
My own Life on Mars..
With only two females in the house to talk to maybe that should be Life on Venus.
Almost every morning I wake up like Sam Tyler thinking: Will this be the day things change? Can I get back?
During Sunday and a good part of Monday I felt like I had a full on cold again, aches and pains, runny nose, the works. Tuesday wasn’t as bad and I spent some time with my parents and daughter. We spent the morning at Kelsey Park getting some fresh air and did a little walking. My fatigue came on fast and I slept for an hour and a half after lunch. I slept in one of the spare rooms – my old bedroom. As I was nodding off the memories came flooding back. I could picture the room as it was before I moved out – all the posters on the walls, furniture, computer, telly, hifi, etc. Time spent with friends listening to music, playing games. In my head I’d skipped back to the nineteen eighties. I can’t find the words to adequately describe how I felt when I woke, but it was a good feeling.
Thankfully MythTV’s remote changed the channels properly the night before and this morning I watched the last of Life on Mars. I’ll miss it. Bloody good TV, BBC, Well Done! Bit of a shock ending though, not what I was expecting. I’ll miss Sam and Annie. Ashes to Ashes will be bringing Gene back to our screens.
Today I’ve been feeling reasonably good. Not buzzing, but not crap either. Will the KFD end as it began with cold symptoms? I’m not getting excited this time, maybe after a few consecutive days like this I will. KFD’s so rare that nobody can give me much detail. I had phoned the Lymphoma Association hoping that they might have had others contact them, since they’re both conditions of the lymphatic system. “What was that? How do you spell it? Have you tried Google?” was the response I got.
A few days ago, when feeling particularly run down, emotional and fed up, my daughter made a naive comment that made me snap a little. Our chat about it brought home some of the things that I’m missing out on. Looking at it from a more positive point of view I started thinking about my “Looking forward to” list. In no particular order here’s my top 8. 9 and 10 can’t be listed 
- Going on holiday somewhere hot with my wife and daughter.
- Taking a bike ride with my daughter around the local park.
- Going swimming with my daughter and being able to swim a length underwater again.
- Having a curry with the lads at lunch time.
- Enjoying a pint in the evenings with the lads.
- Having the social interaction with the people at the office.
- Being able to travel on trains without a paranoid feeling that I’ll catch someones cold.
- Getting through a whole day (7-11) on a regular basis without feeling worn out having to stop for sleep.
